Reckless Optimism
I highly recommend not dealing with your problems if you can possibly avoid doing so. You will always be faced with difficulties that will only resolve themselves with time. These can not be dealt with by employing the labor of hard work or heavy concentration. You must wait, it is out of your hands, and there is little you can do. It is for these problems I recommend being optimistic and getting fucked up. Drink! Go raging! Optimism does not come without a shot of something. Try 40 proof.
Look, I know people probably think I'm fucking around here, but this is something I'm pretty sure about. I have these AFP marker results to look forward to tomorrow and the only thing I can do right now is wait. The only thing I can control is my own personal psychological health. I've decided there is no reason to prepare for the worst. When something bad happens, we deal with it. In the mean time, I've decided that I'm cancer free until someone says otherwise.
I went and got fucked up this weekend and had one of the best times of my life at a club. I walked in, not in the greatest mood, and walked out at closing time in a state of complete bliss. Not because of alcohol, although that definitely assisted me in letting go, there were just so many attractive women, and I was so on my game... I don't want to oversell this, I'm just happy I've gotten so much better in clubs. I easily could have been at home wallowing in despair like I think I did on Friday night. But I didn't.
I saw Babel on Saturday afternoon, and maybe that had something to do with my decision. There is one particular scene where this lonely deaf Japanese girl is drinking and taking pills with her friends before heading to a club. I watched that scene, and suddenly realized what I've missed the most over these last few months: Getting fucked up.
Not that I used to take pills, or go overboard with drinking, but just seeing people putting their problems to the side so they can have fun and do what they want... it touched me.
Never again will I take for granted what it means to get drunk or twisted or high. How incredibly special it is to be able to do something reckless and physically damaging in the pursuit of mankind's most precious commodities: Our happiness and sanity. Think about what it means to make that sacrifice. To say, YES, this is what is more important to me. This is what makes life worth living. Cause its not merely breathing that makes existence valuable. And it's not merely our heart pumping blood through our veins which makes us get up in the morning. There is a difference between being alive and being alive. Anyone who goes through chemotherapy or lives in Connecticut should understand this distinction.
The truth is, life on its own is not worth living. Let that fact guide you where it may.
Look, I know people probably think I'm fucking around here, but this is something I'm pretty sure about. I have these AFP marker results to look forward to tomorrow and the only thing I can do right now is wait. The only thing I can control is my own personal psychological health. I've decided there is no reason to prepare for the worst. When something bad happens, we deal with it. In the mean time, I've decided that I'm cancer free until someone says otherwise.
I went and got fucked up this weekend and had one of the best times of my life at a club. I walked in, not in the greatest mood, and walked out at closing time in a state of complete bliss. Not because of alcohol, although that definitely assisted me in letting go, there were just so many attractive women, and I was so on my game... I don't want to oversell this, I'm just happy I've gotten so much better in clubs. I easily could have been at home wallowing in despair like I think I did on Friday night. But I didn't.
I saw Babel on Saturday afternoon, and maybe that had something to do with my decision. There is one particular scene where this lonely deaf Japanese girl is drinking and taking pills with her friends before heading to a club. I watched that scene, and suddenly realized what I've missed the most over these last few months: Getting fucked up.
Not that I used to take pills, or go overboard with drinking, but just seeing people putting their problems to the side so they can have fun and do what they want... it touched me.
Never again will I take for granted what it means to get drunk or twisted or high. How incredibly special it is to be able to do something reckless and physically damaging in the pursuit of mankind's most precious commodities: Our happiness and sanity. Think about what it means to make that sacrifice. To say, YES, this is what is more important to me. This is what makes life worth living. Cause its not merely breathing that makes existence valuable. And it's not merely our heart pumping blood through our veins which makes us get up in the morning. There is a difference between being alive and being alive. Anyone who goes through chemotherapy or lives in Connecticut should understand this distinction.
The truth is, life on its own is not worth living. Let that fact guide you where it may.
posted by sleepwithoutdreams at 12:42 AM
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