Sexual Eccentricities
Testicular cancer is easily tricked.
You can lie to it, and it will believe you. You can misdirect it and it might not find you for days on end.
But at some point you end up looking at it from across a doctor's office or listening to it mumble through a cell phone, "I found you!"
...and then you're back in it again.
I went to Florida this weekend for a wedding. I didn't tell anyone I had cancer, and for that single weekend, I didn't have cancer. I met a friend of the bride, a sexy white girl with the ability to fake an irresistible British accent, and we ended up in my hotel room, fooling around... literally.
"I feel like I'm fucking a transformer." The stiff structure of the dress's whaleback frame felt unusual beneath my hands and I decided to let her know.
She laughed, "You're not fucking anything."
This was correct, as we were merely grinding against each other on a hotel bed comforter.
"Whatever."
I started singing the transformer theme song in between toungings.
"...more than meets the eye!"
"What??" Her face showed a touch of twisted amusement.
"...robots in DISGUISE!"
Clearly I have issues.
But those issues, have nothing to do with cancer. I feel fortunate to be able to take a break from dealing with a serious medical condition to explore my worrisome sexual eccentricities. They're much more fun anyways.
As an example, today I just found out I'll be going through three cycles of chemo instead of just two. Which means I'll be in chemo for 9 weeks instead of 6 and I need to get some sperm banked, just in case I become sterile. Which means my treatment will probably be pushed off for another week so I won't be able to say my chemo start date is September 11th anymore. I think it also means I get to jerk off in a medical building, which sounds kinda exciting.
Clearly I have issues.
You can lie to it, and it will believe you. You can misdirect it and it might not find you for days on end.
But at some point you end up looking at it from across a doctor's office or listening to it mumble through a cell phone, "I found you!"
...and then you're back in it again.
I went to Florida this weekend for a wedding. I didn't tell anyone I had cancer, and for that single weekend, I didn't have cancer. I met a friend of the bride, a sexy white girl with the ability to fake an irresistible British accent, and we ended up in my hotel room, fooling around... literally.
"I feel like I'm fucking a transformer." The stiff structure of the dress's whaleback frame felt unusual beneath my hands and I decided to let her know.
She laughed, "You're not fucking anything."
This was correct, as we were merely grinding against each other on a hotel bed comforter.
"Whatever."
I started singing the transformer theme song in between toungings.
"...more than meets the eye!"
"What??" Her face showed a touch of twisted amusement.
"...robots in DISGUISE!"
Clearly I have issues.
But those issues, have nothing to do with cancer. I feel fortunate to be able to take a break from dealing with a serious medical condition to explore my worrisome sexual eccentricities. They're much more fun anyways.
As an example, today I just found out I'll be going through three cycles of chemo instead of just two. Which means I'll be in chemo for 9 weeks instead of 6 and I need to get some sperm banked, just in case I become sterile. Which means my treatment will probably be pushed off for another week so I won't be able to say my chemo start date is September 11th anymore. I think it also means I get to jerk off in a medical building, which sounds kinda exciting.
Clearly I have issues.
posted by sleepwithoutdreams at 7:19 PM
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